I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
