ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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