do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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