we're chasing vodka with high fives
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
