I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
