i barfeds in our rink
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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