I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
