my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize