I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
