can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
