Define "chronic" masturbator.
You can't special order awesome
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
