if you like me you must not know who I am
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
