doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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