She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
