if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I got inside last night via doggy door
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
