coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
