Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
