hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
