I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
