The maid of honor just puked.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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