i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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