I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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