Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
