at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
