tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
