I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
