It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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