i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
