I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
