EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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