i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
