dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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