in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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