I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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