So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
