No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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