I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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