I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
