Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
