You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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