I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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