Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
