Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
