matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
