Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
