Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
