Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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