Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
