I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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