you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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