I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
