Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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