I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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