Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
