If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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