you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
