if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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