Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
