think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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