She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
