His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
