No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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