yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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