I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
