You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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