at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
